I cheated and i feel horrible reddit

Before I delve into the article, let me just clarify a few things — no, I have not cheated on anyone; no, I do not plan to ever cheat on anyone; and no, I have not been cheated on. Cheating on someone else makes you a terrible person — temporarily; but it does not mean that you are a terrible person. People have told me situations where someone cheated on someone else and wound up spending years or decades with the new person, even marrying them.

The way I figure it is stated above: cheating does not mean you are a terrible person, but it does make you a terrible person, temporarily. I believe that an exclusive relationship — be it one that is a week old, a year old, three years old or nine years old — is sacred; not as sacred as marriage, but sacred, nonetheless. You are committing to each other, and cheating violates that trust and promise. If you cheat on your husband or wife and abandon your children, then you probably are a terrible person.

Cheating is a selfish act and is inexcusable. If you meet someone else and start developing feelings for them, end your current relationship before pursuing that route. People are not placeholders in your love life; objects you can use as a fallback in case this new option was not what you expected it to be.

7 Cheaters Talk About What It Feels Like to Cheat

If you want to try something new, put on your big boy or big girl pants and end your current relationship before exploring this new fling. I would never cheat on someone for the sole fact that I would never want to be cheated on and experience that level of pain or break of trust.

I would probably hate my girlfriend if she told me she was leaving me for someone else, but I would respect that she had the decency to tell me. I would have a very hard time forgiving a cheater, but, over time, it can be done. However, if she told me she was leaving me for a guy and then they were still together 10 years later, I could see myself being much more forgiving.

Would you feel that person was justified in […]. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Shutterstock Before I delve into the article, let me just clarify a few things — no, I have not cheated on anyone; no, I do not plan to ever cheat on anyone; and no, I have not been cheated on.

Boyfriend Cheating Dating Girlfriend Relationships. More From Thought Catalog. Get our newsletter every Friday! You're in! Follow Thought Catalog. Post to Cancel.During these challenging times, we guarantee we will work tirelessly to support you. We will continue to give you accurate and timely information throughout the crisis, and we will deliver on our mission — to help everyone in the world learn how to do anything — no matter what.

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"I Almost Cheated on My Husband." Why This Story Is More Common Than You'd Think

We will get through this together. Updated: July 9, References. If you've cheated on your partner, you might battle strong feelings of guilt. It doesn't feel great, but it's totally normal. You broke the other person's trust and that can make you feel down on yourself.

Guilt is a powerful emotion that can prompt rash behavior, so don't do anything right away. Talk to someone you can trust and get much-needed support before deciding what to do. Then, take steps to forgive yourself for the indiscretion and try to repair the damage if possible. Overcoming your guilt after cheating can be a difficult process, but start by breaking things off with the other person and stopping all contact with them.

You should also commit to never cheating again so you can move forward with your life. You can also talk to a therapist or join a support group to help you work through your emotions. For more tips, including how to learn from your mistake and understand where you went wrong, read on!

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By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy. As the COVID situation develops, our hearts ache as we think about all the people around the world that are affected by the pandemic Read morebut we are also encouraged by the stories of our readers finding help through our site. Article Edit. Learn why people trust wikiHow. This article was co-authored by our trained team of editors and researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

Together, they cited information from 15 references. Learn more Explore this Article Seeking Support. Forgiving Yourself. Making Amends. Related Articles. Article Summary. Method 1 of Get the advice of someone you trust. Reach out to a third party to get their take about how you should move forward.Hurting your loved one will have lasting effects on you. This leaves them in a powerless position that can follow them far beyond the dastardly act itself.

Being the cheater, you just gave someone permission and ammunition to judge you without restraint, as well as opened yourself up to interminable abuse, manipulation, and justifiable anger. Being held responsible for every bad feeling someone else has from this day forward.

Having someone feel the right to question every decision you make. Being humiliated in the eyes of your family, friends, co-workers, and children.

Not only can your spouse now blame you for every bad thing that happens to them and every problem in your relationship, but your children get to blame you too. You are defined by your actions which are subject to the absolute concepts: "Once a cheater, always a cheater" and "How you do anything is how you do everything. People will sooner forgive a drunk driver for killing someone if they say they'll never drive drunk again than they will forgive you for cheating on someone you love.

Because if you are willing to hurt and betray the one person you are supposed to love more than anything else, no one is going to really believe that you won't hurt or betray them. All your accomplishments are suddenly overshadowed by one misdeed. You could have successfully saved the free world from destruction, but what you will be remembered for are a misplaced cigar and lipstick-stained shirt.

If you didn't put them first, who will? If you didn't put them first, who did you put first?

7 Cheaters Talk About What It Feels Like to Cheat

If you were only loyal to yourself in the context of your family, how can you be relied upon to have loyalty to anyone else? You singlehandedly cast doubt within every relationship in your circle of influence. If cheating entered your relationship, couldn't it enter theirs?

Who did you drag into this with you? Did you ask friends to cover for your lies? You won't be able to trust others to be loyal to you.

You know you are a good person at your core, with some stellar qualities deep down, and if you did this, anyone can. If you could violate a sacred trust and hurt someone you love in such a deeply damaging way, what's to stop them or anyone from doing it to you? You won't be able to step outside of the stigma. Fearing that just when you think you're making headway, this is going to rear its ugly head again and ruin all the progress you have made, and are trying to make, in your life and relationship.

Worrying, will they find that old email, or see the other person at a party? Will today be the day that something triggers my spouse to remember that I messed up before? Living with the fear that just being yourself, at ease and having fun will be met with suspicion and resentment. You are responsible for placing yourself in this position.

You don't even know that you were ready to give up on your marriage yet, but you do know that now you don't really have much of a choice. Can you agree to be someone's punching bag for the rest of your life or is it just easier to take your chances alone or with this new person?A few days ago, I slept with a male friend while my husband was out of town visiting relatives.

It only happened, once, I swear, and I did not intend for it to happen. Now, I feel incredibly guilty. I love my husband and never planned to betray him. If I do, he may leave me. It is difficult to trust anyone these days.

My wife of 19 years now aged 42 has been cheating me for last 2 to 3 years. I never got suspicious about her all these years but few months back when i came back from work in the evening accidentally i came across a floating condom in our toilet and realized that something was wrong.

I never use condom and our son aged 17 who is still in junior college is not likely to indulge in such things at home. I got suspicious of a relative sisters husband aged 55 years who at times stays at our house while visiting our city. Thereafter i started keeping a watch on her behaviour in his presence.

Soon i realised i was being fooled by both of them all this while and i could make out that there was something happening physical between them as i noticed that she used to stop wearing bra inside blouse while he was staying with us.

i cheated and i feel horrible reddit

I then asked her straightaway and after lot of denial she confessed that she had cheated but she continued to harp that he had forced her.

If you truly love him, and he you, it will only ruin the relationship. Trust is GONE after that kind of thing and even if you make it past it, the relationship is never the same.

But ask yourself this, did you really slip up? Or is there something missing that made you cheat? Will it happen again? Are you sure? If you feel good about those answers, stay and stay quiet. Best of luck to you and I hope something I said helps. I too was the victim of a cheating wife. In retrospect truth is I would have killed him or crippled him my favorite choice but she knew and blamed my lack of support, my lack of attention, my……. Then I loved her so much that I stayed and tried to build that trust again and marriage again.

We had two more children since, 7 grandchildren since and some good memories. Now my vows are shot, I possess regrets and mostly feel like a royal chump for staying and I can say without question my heart will never be hers totally again!Originally published on Unwritten by Jenna Lauren.

All of high school I dated the same guy. Let's call him Thomas. Our relationship was full of great times and laughs. He made everything seem like a fairy tale. It basically was a dream come true until guys stopped acknowledging me as a girl because I wasn't available.

I was just a blurred face in a sea of people and to be completely honest It sucked. At first I started to dress nicer and I did my hair and makeup entirely for school, but it wasn't working, I was still the girl with a boyfriend. I am not saying I was pissed I didn't get attention because I did, I got it from the guy who really mattered.

I'm just saying I wish other people still saw me as a girl. It wasn't until college that I finally was recognized as my own person and not just Thomas' girlfriend. A lot of people did know I had a boyfriend just by the fact that I wore a necklace with his name on it and it was all over my social media sitesbut I never just came out and said I had a boyfriend.

I know that isn't right, but at the time it seemed right. College wasn't easy for Thomas and me -- it was filled with missed phone calls, arguments, and suspicion. Pretty soon, he would only text back once a day or not at all so I really didn't know where we stood. I never planned to cheat on Thomas. I was still in love with him, I just wasn't happy with him. I think part of the reason why I cheated on him is because I had only been single for very brief periods of time so I never got to experience a "wild" period where you don't have to worry about the consequences.

The Harsh Reality Of Cheating On The Person You Love

At the same time I knew I couldn't let myself do it because society has led everyone to believe that people who cheat are horrible people and I knew I was not a horrible person. But the more I heard about people doing these crazy sexual thingsthe more my curiosity lingered.

I cheated on Thomas with someone whom I saw all the time at the frat house I went to freshman year. He was kind, smart, and hot. It was hard to not be into him; every girl was into him.

I think that is what made it a little more exciting. He knew I had a boyfriend, but after a while, our sexual attraction seemed to be mutual.Before I delve into the article, let me just clarify a few things — no, I have not cheated on anyone; no, I do not plan to ever cheat on anyone; and no, I have not been cheated on.

Cheating on someone else makes you a terrible person — temporarily; but it does not mean that you are a terrible person. People have told me situations where someone cheated on someone else and wound up spending years or decades with the new person, even marrying them. The way I figure it is stated above: cheating does not mean you are a terrible person, but it does make you a terrible person, temporarily. I believe that an exclusive relationship — be it one that is a week old, a year old, three years old or nine years old — is sacred; not as sacred as marriage, but sacred, nonetheless.

You are committing to each other, and cheating violates that trust and promise. If you cheat on your husband or wife and abandon your children, then you probably are a terrible person. Cheating is a selfish act and is inexcusable. If you meet someone else and start developing feelings for them, end your current relationship before pursuing that route. People are not placeholders in your love life; objects you can use as a fallback in case this new option was not what you expected it to be.

If you want to try something new, put on your big boy or big girl pants and end your current relationship before exploring this new fling. I would never cheat on someone for the sole fact that I would never want to be cheated on and experience that level of pain or break of trust.

i cheated and i feel horrible reddit

I would probably hate my girlfriend if she told me she was leaving me for someone else, but I would respect that she had the decency to tell me. I would have a very hard time forgiving a cheater, but, over time, it can be done. However, if she told me she was leaving me for a guy and then they were still together 10 years later, I could see myself being much more forgiving. Would you feel that person was justified in […]. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday.

You may unsubscribe at any time.

i cheated and i feel horrible reddit

By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Shutterstock Before I delve into the article, let me just clarify a few things — no, I have not cheated on anyone; no, I do not plan to ever cheat on anyone; and no, I have not been cheated on. Boyfriend Cheating Dating Girlfriend Relationships. More From Thought Catalog. Hidradenitis Suppurativa.

Get our newsletter every Friday! You're in! Follow Thought Catalog. Post to Cancel.No matter what the true cause is, it is tied to your emotions.

For me, it was selfish. I wanted out of my marriage by any means necessary. It needs communication, understanding, trust, respect, loyalty, etc.

It feels bad for everyone. The guy I cheated with never spoke to me again because he felt so bad for contributing to the ending of my marriage. I felt so crappy that it took me a few weeks to build up the nerve to admit what I had done.

i cheated and i feel horrible reddit

Once was enough for me, thanks. If I could go back, I probably would have handled things differently. Even to convince someone to agree to divorce.

At least ghosting is a little less hurtful. Although he initially begged me to stay, claiming that we could work through our problems and that he could someday forgive me for cheating, I think we both knew things would never have been the same again. Neither will anyone else who knows about it. And every time I think about it, a pang of guilt strikes. Nobody deserves to be cheated on. Not only did I break his heart and our marriage, I think I also put a crack in his hope of finding a love that will treat him right.

And for making him question his faith in love and relationships, I am truly sorry. You immediately connect with an awesome coach on text or over the phone in minutes.

Just click here …. She spends her days working in accounting, and her nights trying to change the world with her words. You can find her on Instagram and Twitter kristangible, or read her blog at kristangible. By Amanda Chatel. By Sarah Burke. By Amy Horton. By Kate Ferguson. By Lyndsie Robinson.

By Averi Clements. Search Search for:. About Contact Privacy Policy. Facebook Instagram Pinterest. Share this article now! Have something to add? Jump to the comments. Have something to say? Tweet the author: Tweet kristangible. Most Popular Stories 1.


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